Showing posts with label automobiles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label automobiles. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Why are other drivers such awful drivers?

 Do you ever feel like you're the only good driver on the road? Do you ever wonder where everybody else developed such poor driving skills?

This is not another of Zyzmog's Laws of Motion, but rather an expansion on someone else's law.

Most drivers are not bad drivers. They just don't drive the way you do, or the way you expect them to.

To paraphrase the late comedian George Carlin:

There are two kinds of drivers on the road: morons and jerks. A moron is anybody who drives slower than you. A jerk is anybody who drives faster than you.

It's worth noting that all the morons think you're a jerk, and all the jerks think you're a moron.

Carlin's observation can be extended to cover any other aspect of driving.

The logical conclusion of all of this is that everybody thinks they're the only good driver on the road, when in reality we're all terrible drivers in someone's eyes.

In case you're interested in Zyzmog's Laws of Motion:

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Zyzmog's Sixth Law of Motion

 I didn't think it would be possible, but I have to add another law to Zyzmog's Laws of Motion.

Zyzmog's Sixth Law of Motion, or the "Drive Friendly" Rule

Everybody on the road is just trying to get somewhere.

That's it. Just one sentence. I've reflected on this as I've dealt with traffic on interstate highways, two-lane county roads, and city streets. Everybody's just trying to get somewhere. It's not a competition or a battle. It's just people trying to get from Point A to Point B. 

Some of them are running late, some are about to have a baby and are racing to the hospital, some have a lot of other heavy stuff on their minds. 

Some are new drivers, some are nervous drivers, and yes, some are impatient drivers.

None of them drive the same way you drive. None of them want to drive the same speed as you, either. 

But they're all just trying to get from one place to another, and none of them deserve to be centered in the crosshairs of your Acme Mobile Flamethrower. Just give 'em a break. And give them an assist, if you can -- open up a spot for them to merge, for example.

You won't lose anything but your high blood pressure, and you will make the world a better place.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Zyzmog's Fifth Law of Motion (proposed)

I've come up with a fifth Law of Motion. I'm still trying to find the right words for it. The formal declaration is something like this:

Zyzmog's Fifth Law of Motion
In any disagreement involving the previous Laws of Motion, the first appeal to authority is the victor.

That might be too stuffy for some people to understand. Here are two attempted rewrites:

Zyzmog's Fifth Law of Motion (reduced)
In a traffic altercation involving vehicular contact, aggressive drivers, texting, drunk driving or road rage, whoever calls the cops first is the winner.

Zyzmog's Fifth Law of Motion (final reduction)
(also known as Barela's Law of Forward Motion)
Whoever calls the cops first, wins.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Zyzmog's Fourth Law of Motion

In May 2012, I listed Zyzmog's Three Laws of Motion, and two corollaries to the Second Law of Motion. I have recently discovered a fourth Law of Motion, which is as important - vital, even - as the previous three. The fourth law can be written two different ways. The words are the same, but the word order changes subtly:

Zyzmog's Fourth Law of Motion:
You can only drive your car.
or
Only you can drive your car.


This Law has serious implications that extend beyond the simple act of driving a car, and into the more complicated act of living a life.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Zyzmog's Three Laws of Motion

Newton had his laws of motion, and I have mine. Three laws of vehicular motion, that is, and two corollaries.

Zyzmog's First Law of Motion:
Any car can go fast downhill.

Zyzmog's Second Law of Motion:
You can only go as fast as the car in front of you.

First Corollary to Zyzmog's Second Law:
Always have a bird dog.

Second Corollary to Zyzmog's Second Law:
Never be the bird dog.

Zyzmog's Third Law of Motion:
No two vehicles can occupy the same point in space at the same time.

UPDATE, 5 SEP 2014: I have discovered a Fourth Law of Motion. Go read about it here.

For those who need some clarification, a "bird dog" is a car that goes ahead of you, usually a tiny bit faster than you, to "flush the birdies out of the bushes" - to draw out the speed-limit-enforcement authorities so you don't have to worry about them.

If you have any questions about these Three Laws of Motion, post the question in a comment and I will respond with an answer.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Driving by GPS

While driving around the Land of Many People this week, my sweet wife and I decided it would be useful to take our GPS navigation system with us. It's amazing how you can tell when someone is driving by GPS, even without seeing it through the windows of their vehicle.

When you first turn on your GPS navigation system, a screenful of small words appears, warning you that (1) the GPS may get you lost, and (2) you shouldn't pay attention to it when you're supposed to be driving. Before you can continue to the next screen, you must click on the "I Agree" button on the screen.

I'm not sure how they expect you to effectively use the GPS if you're not supposed to pay attention to it while you're driving. In addition, I'm not sure why anybody would voluntarily use a GPS if there's a greater than 5 percent chance that you will get lost while using it. Be that as it may, let us continue.

In a situation where I was 15 miles from home, with only my young granddaughter in the car with me, and nothing but unknown territory between me and my destination, I had to rely on the GPS to guide me, in spite of the two caveats previously mentioned. I quickly learned two important lessons about driving by GPS - lessons that can be extended to life in general, for those who are wise enough to find the lessons in this narrative.

The first lesson I learned is that GPS drivers have a certain driving style. It's easy to pick them out on the road - not because you can see the devices suction-cupped to the windshield or nestled into the dashboard, but because they tend to make abrupt turns and stops that coincide, oddly enough, with the advice your own GPS is giving you. My first reaction to these drivers was annoyance (yeah, as if I wasn't driving the same way they were, you know?), which was supplanted by amusement, and finally by compassion and a deeper understanding of what motivated them.

GPS drivers drive the way they do because they're not looking at the big picture. They're only looking at the next turn, or the next intersection. At the most, they're looking a half-mile or a mile down the road. They cannot be bothered to look beyond that point, trusting completely in the touch-screen-enabled silicon wonder with the mechanical voice that tells them where to go and what to do.

And that leads to the second lesson: in order to use a GPS navigation system effectively, you need to keep the big picture in mind. When Harriet on your GPS tells you to "Turn left at the next intersection to get onto Route 7 west," and you are confronted with a maze of orange cones and Jersey barriers, and two detours that Harriet didn't know about, what do you do? Well, you do your best, and depending on what kind of algorithms Harriet is running, she will take one of three actions:
1) Tell you to turn around as soon as possible, because you are a moron, as her tone of voice informs you.
2) Go passive-aggressive, and shut up completely, because if you're not going to follow her directions, why should she even bother giving you any? Hmph.
3) Attempt to calculate a new route to your destination, based on your new position and heading. This can take a minute or more.

GPS drivers go into a sheer panic when they observe any of these three actions, particularly the second one. I have seen GPS drivers slam on their brakes on a busy on-ramp because Harriet objected to their actions. (I know that that's what happened because she objected to my actions too, but I was a few cars back and had to slam on my brakes simply to avoid the vehicles in front of me.)

By keeping the big picture in mind, you know that when Harriet says "turn left to get onto Route 7," and the left turn she was expecting you to take has been closed off and replaced by the aforementioned cones and Jersey barriers, then you simply need to follow the signs that say "to Route 7 west," ignore your GPS until you are safely westbound on Route 7, and then press the buttons that will bring Harriet back to your side.

In conclusion:
When you drive, trust your GPS, but don't become a slave to it. Remember to use your brain. Look at the big picture. And whatever you do, please don't drive like a GPS driver.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Saturn: How General Motors Screwed Up a Good Thing

This posting started out as a request for somebody to write a book with this title. I didn't intend to write a posting about it. I can imagine that Saturn: How General Motors Screwed Up a Good Thing, written by an industry insider, would make the nonfiction bestseller list.

Actually, a more appropriate title might append the word Again to the title, as GM has screwed up several times in the last few decades.

Moreover, GM has screwed up so many times that their mishandling of Saturn Corporation might end up being a single chapter (or three chapters) in a book with a simpler title: How General Motors Screwed Things Up.

General Motors Corporation have accomplished a lot in their corporate history. They are responsible for bringing many automotive innovations to the mass market, for use by the common man. And indeed, they have led the way with innovative features in their more elite market segments, such as the Corvette and the haute-luxury end of their Cadillac line.

But GM have had more than their share of screw-ups, too, one of which was their mismanagement of Saturn.

Saturn Corporation was an innovative way to run a car company, and the Saturn was an innovative product line. After the initial model release in 1985, Saturns attained popularity quickly, because they were perceived as something newer and better than the same old stuff Detroit had been churning out. But GM required Saturn Corporation to sell their models at a loss in order to build market share, so the subsidiary didn't show a profit (did it ever?). They could have jacked the price up to par or to a slim profit, and people would have paid the extra -- the cars were that good. But they didn't.

When it started in 1985, Saturn offered a different kind of car and a different kind of car-buying experience. The public loved the car, the no-haggle, no-pressure showrooms, and the customer-comes-first-and-we-treat-you-like-royalty service departments. As a result, the public bought lots of Saturns - and two bad things happened.

("Bad" depends on your point of view. These things were only bad from the point of view of other GM divisions, which, being much bigger, older, and more heavily invested than Saturn, had the ready ears of the executive suite and the boardroom. You'll see where this is going shortly.)

First, Saturn sales cut deeply into sales of existing GM product lines. That's no surprise, considering the unequivocal junk that Chevrolet, Oldsmobile and Pontiac were turning out in the late 1980s and 1990s.

Second, Saturn employees adopted a "snooty" attitude (GM's word, not mine) towards other GM employees. That's because Saturn employees, being nonunion, had to work hard for their success, and they had a lot of success to show for their hard work.

GM could have (and unequivocally should have) learned a lesson from both of these phenomena. They could have figured out why the public preferred the Saturn SL2 over the Chevy Beretta, for example, and either redesigned the Beretta to match the SL2's quality and features, or killed the Beretta, cut their losses, and consolidated their product line. Likewise, they could have taken a page from Saturn's playbook on no-haggle pricing and real customer service, and transformed GM's showrooms and service departments from a demeaning and distasteful experience into something enjoyable. Instead, they punished Saturn for their success. Rather than raise the rest of the corporation to Saturn's level, they lowered Saturn to the level of the rest of the corporation.

GM closed the dedicated Saturn factory at Spring Hill, Tennessee, and required all Saturn vehicles to be built on the same production lines as other GM cars, by the same people that built the other GM cars. Guess what happened to product quality? Yep: Down the toilet.

Then, rather than allow Saturn designers to design their own cars from scratch, GM imported designs from their European brand, Opel, and rebadged them as Saturns, thereby eliminating the uniqueness of the brand and the designed-in quality that had characterized the earlier models. Believe me, the public noticed the drop in quality, and while sales momentum held for a while based on the brand name, eventually sales dropped because the cars had become average.

(But the GM product line didn't completely regain its lost market share. Any idea who picked up the slack? It was Toyota, a resurgent Honda Motor Corporation, and a newcomer from Korea called Hyundai.)

The upshot of things was that while GM undercapitalized Saturn, they continued pouring money into crap like the Pontiac Aztek (and the entire Pontiac and Oldsmobile product lines) and excesses like the Cadillac Escalade and the Hummer product line.

Then, when the division was stumbling along, half-starved, without a loyal fan base, without direction and without the qualities that made it unique, GM announced that they were getting rid of it because it was no longer profitable. The executives and the board of directors at General Motors were directly responsible for meddling and mismanaging Saturn to death.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Pickup trucks are three of the Top Ten Selling Automobiles in the U.S.

I've written before about the Big Three Automakers bailout, and about their propensity to push pickup trucks and other high-margin vehicles on us. I think I wrote a thing or two about the "cash for clunkers" program, as well.

The Big Three are banking on our collective inability to remember things that happened more than three months ago. They continue to push pickup trucks and big SUVs on us. (Well, except for Hummer. GM finally pulled the plug on the Hummer brand after a Chinese buyer decided not to buy the division.) And although I hate to acknowledge the reality of it, the American public continue to buy pickup trucks.

Nobody seems to remember what happened to gasoline prices and truck/SUV sales in the summer of 2008: gas prices went way up, and truck/SUV sales went way down. Or perhaps they do remember, but either they don't care, or they have convinced themselves that it won't happen again. Hey, people! Summer's only three months away. Gasoline prices will jump again!

Pickups are especially prevalent here in the American West. Sometimes during my commute, I will count the number of pickups vs. SUVs vs. normal cars at an intersection in town. I'm amazed at the margin by which pickups outnumber normal cars, and SUVs outnumber both.

Okay, I would enjoy owning a pickup truck -- but I'm not willing to give up my commuter car for it. A pickup truck has its place, but it's not in the driveway or garage of a suburban home or on the dry, paved roads between home and work -- which is where most of them in this part of the American west spend most of their time.

And it's not necessarily in the mountains, either. In September 2008, I drove my little Saturn SL2 up a steep, rutted, gully-washed, mining road in the Rockies, to get to the Grays and Torreys Peak trailhead on the Continental Divide. I drove past a huge line of 4WD PUs and SUVs, all waiting for some brave soul to show them how to negotiate the road. After I went past, they all pulled in behind me and followed me up to the trailhead. After we had parked, several of the drivers approached me and told me that I was an inspiration to them: they weren't sure they could make it up the road until they watched me do it.

As for snow, well ... the missus and I still remember fondly a 60-mile drive to Denver in a snowstorm, when we counted 18 pickups, Jeeps and other 4WD vehicles -- and only 2 (two!) normal cars -- that had slid or spun off the interstate highway.

Executives and employees at the Big Three in Detroit have a derisive term for all of these pickup trucks they're selling: "air haulers." And I do mean derisive. They're glad to take your money, knowing full well that for 360 days out of the year, the bed of your pickup truck won't hold anything that couldn't fit into the trunk of a (smaller, cheaper, and more economical) Civic, Corolla, or even Impala.

Here is a list of the top ten selling automobiles in the United States in 2009, according to Reuters:

Rank Make & Model 2009 Sales 2008 Sales 2008 Rank % Change
1 Ford F-Series pickup 334,922 436,022 1 -23.2
2 Toyota Camry 285,069 379,270 3 -24.8
3 Chevrolet Silverado pickup 261,142 402,191 2 -35.1
4 Honda Accord 244,579 333,011 6 -26.6
5 Toyota Corolla 240,755 307,071 4 -21.6
6 Honda Civic 223,751 304,297 8 -26.5
7 Nissan Altima 169,435 241,529 9 -29.8
8 Honda CR-V 158,573 171,193 11 -7.4
9 Dodge Ram pickup 155,467 213,684 5 -27.2
10 Ford Fusion 148,045 128,381 20 +15.3

(I swiped the table from msn.com.)

Pickup trucks claim three of the top 10 slots, and two of the top 3 slots. Surprisingly, only one of the top 10 is an SUV, and it's not even a domestic SUV: the Honda CR-V. Japan's own Big Three have six of the top ten slots: three for Honda, two for Toyota, and one for Nissan. The only domestic non-truck vehicle that made the top 10 was the redesigned Ford Fusion, whose sudden rise in popularity vaulted it from 20th place to 10th place.

Now, I have some good friends who really do haul stuff in their pickup trucks, and they really do need their four-wheel-drive to get to where they're going. I say more power to them. One could even call them "legitimate" pickup truck owners. One of my friends has a beautiful old Dodge pickup. Most of the time, he uses it to haul old Dodge pickup truck parts. Like my dad said once, I'll buy a pickup truck when I have something to haul around in it.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Another Modest Proposal: Drunken Drivers

This is another great idea that I had: how to handle drunken drivers. Coming on the heels of my proposal regarding prison overcrowding, you may at first think that I'm proposing capital punishment for drunks.

I have considered it, from time to time. In a posting to an online community a few years ago, I asserted that more people are killed every year by drunk drivers than by terrorists. I had the numbers to support that assertion, too. Even though I have many friends who drive when they've had too much to drink, I think that drunken drivers should be apprehended immediately and handled severely. I've known of too many lives that were ruined by drunken drivers to feel sympathy for anybody who drives while drunk -- even my friends.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, here's my proposal:

1) First, give every police officer the authority -- no, the mandate -- to pass immediate judgement on a person suspected of drunk driving. The laws on the books today allow an officer to cite someone based on their failure to pass a sobriety test, their failure to pass a breathalyzer test, or their refusal to take a breathalyzer test. Let's keep those three criteria -- they'll do just fine for what I have in mind.

2) Second, when a police officer determines that a driver is drunk, using the three criteria currently on the books, the police officer is to get on the radio and call in The Crusher (dun dun dunnnnn...).

The Crusher is just what its name implies: a giant hydraulic ram, mounted on the back of a flatbed semi trailer, big enough to hold a Dodge Ram 4WD or a Ford F99950 with oversized tires, a lift kit, and a roll bar with an array of fog lamps, plus a crew cab and an extended bed. The Crusher is also strong enough to convert said oversized excuse for male anatomical deficiency into an 8-inch-thick steel pancake. The Crusher is accompanied by another truck, a flatbed semi with a crane at one end, the kind you see hauling bricks or roofing supplies or sod.

The number of Crushers required for a given state will depend in large part on the estimated number of drunks on the road on a representative Friday night. It'll vary from state to state, and from legislature to legislature.

3) When the police call it in, The Crusher arrives with its traveling companion. The drunk is given five minutes to remove incidental personal items from the vehicle (but nothing semi-permanently attached, like radio or wheels). Then, while the drunk watches from a safe distance, in the custody of the arresting officer, the crane picks up the vehicle and deposits it in The Crusher. In five minutes or less, The Crusher has reduced the vehicle to scrap metal. The crane then picks up the crushed car and deposits it on the second flatbed, where the operator secures it in place and eventually hauls it away to a smelter.

4) The operator of The Crusher gives the drunk two pieces of paper: one is a receipt for the scrap metal, complete with the former vehicle's VIN and license number; the other is a bill for the cost of crushing the car and transporting it to the smelter. If, after the numbers are crunched, the state owes the drunk money, he has 30 days to show up at the courthouse to collect. On the other hand, if the drunk owes the state money, he has 30 days to show up at the courthouse to pay up.

Either way, it soon becomes too expensive for the drunk to continue driving drunk. If that was his own car, then he has to go buy another one. His insurance won't cover it -- and if his insurance does cover it, then you can bet his premiums will go way, way up, and quickly. If that was a car he'd borrowed from a friend, his friend will take it out of his hide, because the same state law that authorizes The Crusher will indemnify the state from claims in cases where the drunk was driving someone else's car. If the car was stolen, then fine: the owner's insurance will handle the case much as it does today.

But if the car was stolen from, um, let's say, someone who belongs to a fraternal organization whose members take acts like this very personally and act swiftly and unitedly to serve up their own brand of justice upon the offender, well, let's hope that drunk can run really fast.

Either way (as I said), it soon becomes too expensive for the drunk to continue driving drunk. And that solves one of the biggest problems with today's drunk-driving laws: they're ineffective as a deterrent to driving drunk. The statistics vary, but even the most conservative statistic says that 1 out of 10 drivers on the road on a Friday or Saturday night is legally intoxicated. Maybe the prospect of punishment that is a swift (say "immediate"), certain, and tangible blow to the pocketbook will do a better job as a deterrent.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dear Congressperson or Senator: Say NO to the Big Three

I just wrote to my senators and congresspeople. I also wrote to the Speaker of the House, but I don' t think that she will read or heed my letter. Here's what I told them:

I have been watching the hearings in the Senate and the House. I want to ask you again to vote AGAINST the automotive bailout. As you have seen from the polls, the majority of Americans feel the same way I do.

1. Product line revisions -- too late. 2012?2013? That's three and four years down the road. And all that will do is put the automakers where Toyota and Honda were two years ago. There's an entrepreneur in San Jose CA already building full-sized electric cars, today. Why not give him the money instead?

2. Continued emphasis on trucks. We don't want trucks anymore. The F-150 pickup, which Ford boasts as the top-selling vehicle in the U.S. today, sold fine until June, I think, and sales have dropped to near-zero since then. WE DON'T WANT TRUCKS, and they ALL keep trying to sell trucks.

3. If these companies are too big to fail, then they're too big. NO corporation should have that much power in this country. Congress has stood up to oil, railroads and telecommunications in the past. Now it's time to stand up to the automakers. If they want to stay in business, then PLEASE cut them up, and turn them from the Big Three into the Little Nine or whatever. If it worked for AT&T, it can work for GM.

4. Utter lack of humility. I saw arrogance from Mr. Gettelfinger, and "strictly business" attitudes from the three CEOs. What they said in front of the Congressional panels mirrors what they say to all Americans. If you watch the automobile commercials on TV, you will see that they're just as arrogant and superior, appealing to Americans' egos and greed, as they've always been.

5. Economic impact. I don't deny the economic impact of the Big 3 going out of business, HOWEVER: the parts mfrs. also make parts for Toyota, Honda and Nissan, so although the parts mfrs. might be downsized, they won't go out of business. As for economic impact, today is my last day on the job. I am currently underemployed, and on Monday I will be unemployed. That has nothing to do with the Big 3, and their going under will not affect me one whit.

Please stick to your guns, honor the will of the American people, and vote AGAINST the bailout.

Regards
Ray Depew