Monday, December 27, 2021

About Jerry Garcia ties

 

A Jerry Garcia Christmas tie

Jerry Garcia was a talented musician. He made his mark in the world as the lead guitarist and a vocalist for the rock group The Grateful Dead, until he died of a heart attack in 1995.

Everyone knows about his musical career, but few people know about his graphic arts career.

And many people who wear J. Garcia neckties don't realize that it's that "J. Garcia". 

Jerry Garcia was an artist?!

My abridged version of the story is this.

Garcia was both a talented musician and a talented artist. His plan, a laid-back and casual plan, was to make a living with his art, and to sing, write music, and play guitar on the side. In 1961, he survived a horrific car accident that killed one person and seriously injured Garcia and two friends. The accident was a turning point in his life, and he decided he needed to take something seriously. So he set his drawing and painting aside and devoted himself  to the guitar. After four years of playing with various groups, he and some friends formed the band that became The Grateful Dead.

In 1980, after the band became successful, Garcia returned to the graphic arts. He exhibited his work at the Weir Gallery in Berkeley, California. He monetized his craft by creating beautiful silk scarves and neckties and selling them under the "J. Garcia" brand.  Garcia's silk-screened tie designs were unlike the traditional geometric designs. They were attractive and eye-catching, without being crazy or obnoxious. While I wouldn't say they took the world by storm, they definitely attracted a following. They were sold worldwide in department stores, men's apparel stores, and online.

It's ironic that his two worlds didn't overlap very much. Many of his necktie fans don't know that he was a rock'n'roll superstar; likewise, many of his music fans don't know that he made neckties. 

And many people who bought his ties didn't realize that the "J. Garcia" on the necktie label was the same J. Garcia that played for the Dead.

Beautiful designs, lousy workmanship

Garcia's tie designs are beautiful and eye-catching. The designs are organized into themes. In addition to everyday business designs, he has special themes for occasions like weddings, and for holidays like Independence Day, Halloween, and Christmas. Although most of his ties are pure silk, he also has some designs in cotton. I don't know whether he ever worked in wool.

There's only one problem with J. Garcia ties: The workmanship is really bad. No, the workmanship is crap. The ties wear out too quickly. 

For the first few wearings, they're okay. But then the thread on the main seam starts coming out. Or else, because the fabric is cut too close to the seam, the fabric starts raveling even if the seam remains intact. Both of these defects can be corrected with fray-check or super glue, if you catch them quickly enough. But then the interfacing starts getting twisted and bunched up inside the tie, so your knot looks ugly, and there's no way to fix that. And eventually, the fabric where the tie is knotted simply falls apart, and that can't be fixed either.

So, what to do? Your choice. 

Some of you may say that that's normal, that all ties wear out, especially silk ties. Not so.

I have some Italian ties ranging in age from 3 to 40 years, and they are still in excellent shape after hundreds of wearings. The workmanship on these Italian ties is exquisite. J. Garcia ties are all made in China, not Italy. J. Garcia ties reinforce everything I've ever said on the subject of Chinese workmanship.

So, don't buy them, because they're crappily built, and because they're made in China?

No. I say, buy them anyway. Plan on them wearing out every couple of years, and on buying replacements for the ones that wear out. Or buy several of them, and cycle through them so that they last longer. They're worth it.


Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Story: The Christmas Ornaments Robin Hood

 SHORT INTRODUCTION: I ran across this story on Reddit. It's a different kind of Christmas story. I hope it touches you as deeply as it touched me. Written by u/selectivelycrazy, and reprinted here with her permission.

It is 2020, unfortunately. It’s the day after my two younger sisters and I flew out to Pennsylvania to see my dad, who lives there after getting divorced by my mom for fifteen years of not being a good husband or dad. He lives with his mom, Cranky Grandma, and her devil cat, as well as my amazing aunt and her angel kitten.

Dad gets home from work. “Where’s Emi?” he asks my Cranky Grandma.

“She’s in the basement,” Cranky Grandma says, probably throwing in a snide comment or two about the newly-dyed purple hair adorning my head or the leather fingerless gloves that have joined my black wardrobe. “Lookin’ for some Christmas ornaments.”

Dad goes down the basement stairs and finds me rummaging through cardboard boxes. “What are you looking for?” he says.

“Hi, Dad,” I say. “Well, I noticed that you decorated for Christmas, but you’re missing a few things! Where are The Mooses?”

The Mooses are a pair of stuffed mooses that have been put up every Christmas since I can remember. They’re brown, about two feet tall, and soft as a marshmallow. There’s Mama Moose, who is named Merry, holding Baby Moose, who is named Christmas and is in a red velvet sack reading “Merry Christmas” on it in gold embroidery. The Mooses always go on the couch to watch over the living room and all the decorations and presents in it while we’re asleep.

The problem with The Mooses is that when my mom divorced Dad, she was so scared of him that she let him have almost everything. This included The Mooses and quite a few more of her treasured ornaments. And since I’ve always been the one to set The Mooses on the couch, that first Christmas with a divorced dad just didn’t feel right without them.

Dad helps me look for The Mooses for awhile. “Sorry, sweetie, they must have gotten lost in the move,” he says.

I smile and don’t tell him that I hate being called sweetie. “It’s okay,” I say, and pull out a cardboard box. “Hey, look! It’s your What God Wants For Christmas box! I love that tradition!”

We go set up What God Wants For Christmas in the living room. I say, “I think I’m going to go take a nap.”

Dad says, “Okay.”

I go upstairs and into my room and shut the door. I walk over to the window seat/storage chest under the window. I open it.

“Hello, Mooses,” I say.

The Mooses lay on top of my stuffed animal collection, looking dusty. Several other ornaments I recognize as Mom’s are keeping them company. I grin and shut the chest.

It is the day we fly back to my home state. I have The Mooses packed away in my suitcase, and the other ornaments tucked beside them, wrapped in my fluffiest (but still black) hoodie to protect them.

I roll my suitcase out to the hallway. Dad is weighing Youngest Sister’s bag to make sure it’s under fifty pounds. “Okay, now I need to check it to make sure you’re not stealing any of my stuff!” he tells her.

My mind says, Oh no.

My brain gives me uncomfortable memories of how Dad raged when he thought one of us had stolen his coffee mug.

My voice says, “Privacy invaded in three...two…” in a joking tone. Dad and Youngest Sister laugh. Dad does not check anyone’s suitcase.

We are at the airport. Younger Sister’s suitcase is somehow three pounds over the weight limit.

Dad says, “Emi, grab one of the suitcases that already went through and open it up. We’ll put some of Younger Sister’s stuff in there.” He gestures to my suitcase.

My mind makes an earsplitting screeching noise that sounds like someone slammed their brakes to avoid hitting a pterodactyl and hit the pterodactyl anyway.

My brain imagines Dad opening the suitcase and going into a rage at the sight of The Mooses.

My voice says, “Sure, Dad.” My hands grab Youngest Sister’s suitcase instead of mine and pass it over. Dad opens it. Her suitcase contains no smuggled goods. We transfer the stuff and the very nice airport lady sends all the bags down the conveyor belt. Dad asks me why I wave to mine. I shrug. “Just being weird,” I say. Good luck, Mooses, my mind says.

We are back home. My family- my Older Sister, who didn’t go with us, Mom, my other grandma, who we call Maga, and my Boppa, or grandpa, are all sitting in the living room catching up.

I say, “I’m disappointed you took the tree down already.”

Older Sister laughs. “It’s past New Year’s!”

“I know,” I say, “but I brought some stuff to put on it.”

I open my suitcase. I show around the ornaments I smuggled back- three tiny stuffed snowmen, our cat’s catnip-stuffed cat ornament, a white clay angel, a wooden rocking horse, a wooden mouse king, a clay snowman, my older sister’s stuffed dog. When I unveil the rocking horse, Maga gasps. “I bought that for your mother when she was little!” she exclaims. “How did your dad get it?”

“That’s not everything,” I say. I unzip the flap hiding The Mooses from view.

I pull out The Mooses.

Older Sister and Boppa clap. “How did you get those back here right under Dad’s nose?” Older Sister asks. Maga laughs so hard she has tears in her eyes.

The tears in Mom’s eyes are not from laughter.

Slowly, she reaches out and takes The Mooses, hugging them to her chest. Over their antlers, she mouths “Thank you.”

And then, she gets up, and she sets The Mooses down. On the couch.

Right where they belong.


A gratuitous picture of a Christmas moose, from an online store



Friday, August 6, 2021

How Malicious Compliance Saved a Company

I once worked at a place that built electronic gadgets — water leak detection equipment, to be exact. Black boxes with a lot of connectors. Each gadget had a built-in webserver: you type in the gadget's IP address, and the user interface appears. This was in the stone-knives-and-bearskins days, and the entire webserver was hard-coded. You know, HTML strings in the C source.

So the CEO and the VP of marketing decided that they didn't like the UI (user interface, essentially the look and feel of the webpages) in our biggest moneymaking product. It wasn't our flagship product, but it had the biggest slice of the revenue pie chart and a delicious profit margin.

Yeah, so anyway, CEO and VP locked themselves in a conference room for a couple of days and came out with a new UI design. They had designed the whole thing in PowerPoint. They told the firmware engineer (not me, but a co-worker that I admire the heck out of) to reprogram the UI and make it exactly like the PowerPoint slides.

FW Engr had a lot of credibility in the company and wasn't afraid of getting fired, so he proceeded to tell them all the reasons that it was a bad idea and wouldn't work and the customers wouldn't like it. They yelled at him and gave him the "We're the CEO and VPMktg and we know what the customers want" and the "just do your job" speeches.

So, knowing that it was doomed to fail, but since they had demanded it, and knowing that he would get paid no matter what he did, he set aside his current project and went to work. He totally rewrote the HTML so that the UI looked and performed exactly the way the PowerPoint slides said it should. CEO and VP loved it, and gave him the "see? that wasn't so hard, was it?" speech. FW Engr went back to what he was really supposed to be doing.

Just as he had predicted, customers hated the new UI. Existing customers who upgraded their firmware couldn't find things anymore. New customers who had just bought the box couldn't navigate it without a GPS and a Ouija board. Tech support got multiple calls a day complaining about the UI and asking for help.

And on top of everything, it was ugly. It looked like a PowerPoint presentation, not a leak-detection system.

Our tech support guy went to the FW Engr and told him about the dozens of complaint calls. FW Engr told him to have the customers enter a slightly different URL: instead of "ip.address", type in "ip.address/classic" , and the old UI would magically appear. He hadn't deleted the old UI code; he had just hidden it deep inside the gadget's memory, because he knew that this was exactly what would happen.

Tech support went away happy. Customers were happy. The firmware engineer had saved the company's cash-cow-golden-goose, and probably saved the company. I don't think anybody ever told CEO or VP Mktg. They were totally oblivious to what the firmware engineer had pulled off, right under their noses. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Word Peeve: entitled boomer Karens

Can we talk a little about language? 

Not profanity. Those horses left the barn years ago. I blame it on the 2016 presidential election, the ensuing four years, and the press's newfound eagerness to quote everybody without censoring their language.

No, I want to talk about the words Karen, entitled, and boomer.

First, Karen

It's a label for a stereotype. But it doesn't fit any of the women that I know named Karen. (Or Karyn.) All of the Karens that I know are real sweethearts. But the name, as a label, gets bandied about more and more. 

Please stop using Karen. Find another label.

Second, entitled.

We used to say that a person was rude, presumptious, high-and-mighty, pushy, bossy, selfish, grabby, dishonest, a cheater, nosy, a know-it-all, snobbish, curmdgeonly, overbearing, lazy, creepy, a jerk, a bully, arrogant, judgmental, just plain mean, and so many other really useful adjectives. Now we just call them all entitled. The word "entitled" has become totally meaningless.

I can imagine an argument between two people, shouting "You're so entitled!" "No, you're entitled!" They're both using the same word, but they mean entirely different things.

I do hope this is just a fad, but "awesome" and "cool" started as fads, and they haven't died out yet. So ... next time you feel like saying "entitled", can you stop for a moment and substitute another, more precise word?

Finally, boomer.

We've finally reached the age where the Baby Boomers are marching into the grave. They have become the old people that they used to make fun of. It will take a few decades before they're all gone. Now that they're the old people, they're doing old-people things and, let's be honest, some of them range from pretty funny to damned annoying. When people tell stories about them, they label them boomers.

"Okay, boomer" has become a fun (to the younger crowd) way to blow them off, to marginalize them — especially if they're being Karens and acting entitled. (See what I did there?) 

Boomer is a derogatory term. It's always meant as an insult, or to make someone feel bad. I've never heard it used in a friendly or respectful way. How about we all stop saying it? 

Now, before you react ...

Somebody's going to read this and say, "How dare you tell me how I should talk!" and "It's a free country, I can say what I want!" and "Wow, you're so entitled, trying to tell me how to speak," and my own personal favorite, "Okay, boomer."

Relax. They're just suggestions. You can talk however you want to talk. Bear in mind, however, that every time I hear or read you using one of those words, it's the verbal equivalent of you speaking with a giant hunk of spinach stuck between your front teeth or a booger hanging out of your nose.

Maybe other people feel the same way. Is that a chance you want to take?


Wednesday, June 23, 2021

The Parable of the Good Samaritan: A Fresh Look

 All of you are familiar with the Parable of the Good Samaritan. It's found in the Bible, in Luke chapter 10, verses 25-37. The lesson in the parable is a powerful lesson, one that can apply to anyone, of any religious (or irreligious) stripe.

The Good Samaritan. Source: iStockPhoto

I'm not going to rehash the parable. You all know it — and if you don't know it, then grab a Bible and read it. If you don't have a Bible, go read it in Wikipedia. But I am going to tell you a modern story about the Parable of the Good Samaritan. It's ... well, you'll see.

I was once a Seminary teacher, and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the "Mormon" church), high school students start their day by attending a religious-studies class before school. It's called Seminary. It lasts from 6:00 to 6:50 a.m. Over four years, they study all the books that the Church considers holy scripture. It is hoped that, sometime during those four years, they are able to discover for themselves the reality of a resurrected and living Jesus Christ, the power that he has in their lives, and the future that he and his Father have in store for them.

(We can talk more about that some other time.)

Being a Seminary teacher is therefore a heavy responsibility. We're expected to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, and in such a way that each student will hear or feel that Spirit inside themselves and gain their own witness of the truth, through a prayerful exercise of their own free will.

(We can talk more about that some other time, too.)

So one day, I was prepared to teach the Parable of the Good Samaritan. I had spent several days preparing this lesson, praying and pondering so that I could get it exactly right. In all of my teaching, I wanted the students to reach inside themselves and discover what these stories and these lessons meant for them in their lives. I didn't lecture, and I didn't rely solely on videos, either. I asked pointed questions and encouraged thoughtful discussion. For this lesson, I had planned to review the story in some detail, and afterwards to ask the students: "Therefore, what? What difference does this make in your life?"

(Wow. Most of the preceding paragraphs were background. Exposition. Setup. My story isn't as long as the setup.)

We lived about 1.5 miles from the church. I liked to get there around 5:30 to set up the classroom, do my final preparations, and greet the kids as they arrived. This morning I was behind schedule, and in a hurry to get there before 6:00.

Halfway there, I saw a minivan parked on the side of the road, with its four-way hazard lights flashing.

Yeah.

God wasn't even being subtle.

I looked up through the roof of the car, and cried out: "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THIS ISN'T FAIR!" I didn't have time to stop. I had to get to the church building to get things ready. And according to Colorado state law, when you encounter a vehicle with its four-ways blinking, you're supposed to move one lane over, just like the priest and the Levite did in the parable, to give the disabled vehicle a safety margin.

But of course, I couldn't do that. I had to get to the church building, yes, but even more than that, I had to stop.

So I pulled over and parked in front of the minivan, walked over to the driver's door, and knocked on the window. The driver rolled down the window. It was a young mother and two young children. I asked, "Hi, are you in trouble? Is there a problem with your car? Is there something I can do to help you?"

She smiled, and said, "No, that's okay. I just called my husband and he'll be here in about five minutes."

I wished her good luck and, as I turned to go back to my car, I heard a sound like a pencil making a checkmark on paper, and a still, small voice saying, "You passed." I went to the church and taught my seminary lesson. At the end of the lesson I told my kids what had happened on the way to seminary that morning.

I have pondered repeatedly on this incident. It has become increasingly clear to me over the years that I could not have taught that parable with power and the Spirit, and delivered its lessons into my students' hearts, if I had not proven to my God and myself, and my students, that those lessons were deeply engraved in my own heart.


Thursday, March 11, 2021

Things I wish had known earlier in my career

I wish I had been less than 30 years into my career when I realized that:

  1. Nobody pays you enough to make a miserable job worthwhile.

  2. Nobody pays you enough to yell at you.

  3. Sometimes it's better to quit and take your chances than to stay miserable.

  4. There's no such thing as "job security".

  5. Your employer doesn't care.

 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Trump's June 2017 Cabinet meeting. Where are they now?

 Do you remember that cabinet meeting on June 12, 2017? That was the one where Donald Trump required everyone at the meeting to take a turn fawning over him and praising him like he was North Korea's "Dear Leader", Kim Jong Un.

To jog your memory, here's a Web search that will give you video of it and articles about it.

With one week left in Trump's presidency, let's take a look at the roster of participants in that meeting and see what's happened to all of those shameless ass-kissers.

  • Vice President Mike Pence - He's still there. The two of them had a serious falling out just before January 6, 2020, the date of both the Electoral College certification at which Pence presided, and the Capitol riot and takeover by the right-wing mob.
  • U.S. Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer - still there.
  • Secretary of Agriculture Sonny Perdue - still there.
  • CIA Director Mike Pompeo - promoted to Secretary of State Apr 26, 2018. Succeeded at CIA by Gina Haspel. Still there as Secretary of State.
  • Secretary of Energy Rick Perry - replaced by Dan Bouillette, Dec 1 2019
  • Chief of Staff Reince Priebus - replaced Jan 2, 2019. There've been 3 since him.
  • Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price - replaced Sep 29, 2017. There've been 3 since him.
  • UN Ambassador Nikki Hailey - replaced Dec 31, 2018. There've been 2 since her.
  • Secretary of Defense James Mattis - replaced June 3, 2019. There've been 4 since him.
  • Secretary of State Rex Tillerson - fired by Tweet, March 13, 2018. There've been 2 since him.
  • Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao - Quit on Jan 11, 2020, 5 days after the riot.
  • Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos - Quit on Jan 8, 2020, 2 days after the riot.