Saturday, May 12, 2012

Zyzmog's Three Laws of Motion

Newton had his laws of motion, and I have mine. Three laws of vehicular motion, that is, and two corollaries.

Zyzmog's First Law of Motion:
Any car can go fast downhill.

Zyzmog's Second Law of Motion:
You can only go as fast as the car in front of you.

First Corollary to Zyzmog's Second Law:
Always have a bird dog.

Second Corollary to Zyzmog's Second Law:
Never be the bird dog.

Zyzmog's Third Law of Motion:
No two vehicles can occupy the same point in space at the same time.

UPDATE, 5 SEP 2014: I have discovered a Fourth Law of Motion. Go read about it here.

For those who need some clarification, a "bird dog" is a car that goes ahead of you, usually a tiny bit faster than you, to "flush the birdies out of the bushes" - to draw out the speed-limit-enforcement authorities so you don't have to worry about them.

If you have any questions about these Three Laws of Motion, post the question in a comment and I will respond with an answer.

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