Wednesday, May 30, 2012


A friend of mine (a real friend, not just a Friend) posted this letter, which was sent from her apartment managers to all tenants. It's reprinted here with her permission. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I copied and pasted this from an email I received on behalf of my apartment managers. The email was entitled "Discretion."

Dear Tenants.

Please share this message with your spouse. We need to address the issue of discretion. We have had numerous comments that neighbors in general are very quiet although there are occasions when lovebirds forget that others can hear them and at that point the walls could not be thick enough. University Courtyard’s apartments are as well insulated as possible. The insulation in the double fire walls and ceilings is blown insulation, meaning they blow the insulation into every nook and cranny. The insulation could not be any more top-of-the-line. However the nature of apartments in close quarters is such that noise travels. Especially through the floor by vibration. Please exercise discretion and realize that sound does travel, particularly through open windows. We realize we have a lot of newlyweds with healthy relationships but please remember you need to keep it between yourselves. We appreciate your exercise of additional discretion in this matter. Thank you.

University Courtyard Managers

I love it, every word. From the gratuitous insulation explanation featuring the words "blow" as well as "nook and cranny" to "vibration" and "healthy relationships" as a euphemism for going at it like wild rabbits. This is what I live with everyday.


Kaeits said...

I've always wondered if my neighbors upstairs have a very fast washing machine or if they like it in the kitchen/living room in the early afternoon. Either way, lucky them.

Zyzmog said...

Apparently, the apartment management sent out a second letter. Taken by itself, it's rather tame. When you combine it with the first letter, though, you have to start wondering what goes on in the lounge. Here is the second letter:

Dear Tenants,

I hope that all of you are having a great semester and enjoying the sunshine. I have a few things I need to remind you. First,we have specific quiet hours at University Courtyard. They correspond with Rexburg city ordinances.They are from 10pm until 8am. If you are going to have a noisy night,please let your neighbors know beforehand or use the lounge. The lounge is there for all of you to use. There is a calendar on the bulletin board in the laundry room. You can reserve the lounge as long as no one has previously reserved it. Be considerate of your neighbors and use the lounge whenever you are having a party. Police will be called if you are disturbing the peace of others. Second reminder is to close your blinds,especially your bedroom blinds. Whenever people walk past your apartment,or look out their bedroom window at the building across,it is very easy to see in if you don’t close your blinds...

University Courtyard

Zyzmog said...

"Please let your neighbors know beforehand."