On Polls, Politicking, and Super PACs

About super PACs:

They're not fooling anybody, you know. They're a blatant move by the classic men-behind-the-scenes to control the political landscape and the political discourse like they used to do. They're not about free speech. They're about money and power. We all know that.

But they're frighteningly effective, and so are their tactics. Most voters in a given election will vote based on emotion, not logic or facts, and the super PACs' tactics are focused on manipulating voters' emotions.

About politicking:


You know, since we stopped subscribing to cable TV and watching network TV, we have missed all of the political ads. And when I say "missed," I mean "not seen" or "not been subject to."

When we listen to the radio, we change stations every time we hear a political ad. (In fact, we frequently change stations for any kind of advertisement.) In radio parlance, political ads are an automatic tune-out.

When we read the newspaper, we read the political ads for local issues or candidates, and then go to the Internet to find detailed, impartial facts and to read both sides of the issue.

We get most of our news today from the Internet. We read from a variety of news outlets, analysts, and opinion leaders. We assume that everybody has a bias, and so we make sure to take our news from across the political spectrum. Some of the most detached, unbiased reporting comes from overseas, from outside looking in, but even then we are careful to watch for hidden biases.

We've noticed a lot more political advertising on the Internet. We ignore all of it. (However, we are intrigued by which political ads AdSense chooses to serve up on places like Zyzmog Galactic Headquarters.)

We listen to speeches, or read transcripts of speeches, on the Internet. Sometimes we will find multiple versions of the speech. Sometimes it takes a little work to find an accurate video of the speech, unedited and uncut. We listen to some of the after-speech commentary, but not much. After 5 or 10 minutes, the commentators go into talking-head mode, and then it's time to move on.

About polls:


I used to participate in telephone polls and surveys, thinking that I was fulfilling my civic duty in making my voice heard. Boy, was I mistaken. It took me a while, but I finally caught on to the fact that a "poll" is not really a "poll": the pollster is pushing a specific agenda, and is politicking (or selling, if it's a consumer poll and not a voter poll) just like everybody else.

Caller ID is a wonderful thing. During election season (like, right now), we ignore incoming calls if we don't recognize the calling number, or if no number is shown. There's no law that requires you to answer a ringing telephone.

That short pause before the human starts talking is also a wonderful thing. One day autodialers will be fast enough to eliminate the pause, but for 2012, that brief time while the autodialer processes our "Hello?" and routes us to a human or to a recorded message, is just enough time to alert us to the fact that it's a call we can safely hang up on.

This year I'm going to try something new. If I answer a ringing telephone and I don't realize it's a political call until the caller starts talking, I'm going to abruptly and wordlessly hang up. It may be rude, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to listen to them, any more than I have the time or inclination to listen to a door-to-door salesman.

To wrap up:

Politicians must hate voters like us. We think about the candidates, and the issues. We do our research. We look at all sides of the story. We judge the credibility of everything we hear or read, and we ignore  emotional appeals. And we hate buzzwords, slogans, and cute catchphrases, with a hatred that surpasses all understanding. We don't vote a strict party or ideological line, although we prefer moderates over radicals because we know they will get things done and not just crow like a rooster all day long. We vote for what we think will be best in the long run for our community, our state and our country.

Take Two with Phineas and Ferb

I just saw the preview for tomorrow's Phineas and Ferb episode: a talk show mixing live celebrities with Dan and Swampy's fantastic mix of wit and imagination.

I have avoided talking too much about Phineas and Ferb on this blog because I don't want to sound like a sappy fanboy. That's why you didn't read a word from me about their "Summer Belongs to You," a fascinating and complicated mix of every story line the boys hadn't explored yet, steeped in references to pop culture, current events, and previous episodes, and seasoned with the kind of wit and humor that have made P&F famous among adults as well as children.

See? Sappy fanboy.

Oh well. I shall now state calmly and with great dignity that I'm looking forward to tomorrow night's episode.

Phineas and Ferb have done it again

Actually, Swampy and Dan have done it again.

Since I posted my first paean to the boys with the geometric heads, three great things have happened in the P&F universe: first, new episodes have been created; second, the soundtrack CD that I had wished for has been released; and third, the Disney Channel hosted a P&F singalong to promote both the CD and the new episodes.

I'm not suggesting that the CD came about because of my posting. The Disney folks have always been shrewd marketers, and Swampy and Dan have obviously had a lot of fun while riding this gravy train. Hey, more power to them. P&F is a great show and a great brand, and it will be a great franchise, if it isn't already.

You know, 25 years ago I used to race home from work at 4:30 so I could watch Inspector Gadget with my older son. P&F has the same draw for me as Inspector Gadget did, only now I can enjoy P&F just about any time of the day, with my younger (17 year old) son.

Anyway, about the CD: it features 26 selections from the series. I understand how difficult it was to choose the songs. They had a lot of good material to pick from. Only a couple of my favorites ("Evil Love" and "Swinter," actually) are missing.

Several of the songs have been re-orchestrated, or perhaps the TV versions are the re-orked versions and these are the real things. Rest easy: the ones on the CD are just as good as the ones on TV -- if not better.

The Emmy-nominated theme song, "It's Going to Be a Great Day," is the full 3-minute version, not the 60-second TV version, sung (as on TV) by the very listenable band Bowling For Soup. (I don't know which version got the 2008 Emmy nomination.) "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" has been expanded and enhanced, and although the original is fun to sing along with, this one's even better -- well, once I learn all the new parts, that is.

All of your favorites are on there. I can't get enough of "Truck Drivin' Girl" and the pizzicato stylings of "Let's Take a Rocket Ship to Space."

And I'm sure I expose myself to charges of not being a true P&F aficionado when I confess that I hadn't realized that the gravelly blues solo in "Chains on Me" was the same voice as the one in "E.V.I.L. B.O.Y.S." Oh, and it's definitely not Ashley Tisdale - not even if she gargled with alum water for an hour, let alone being exposed to wild parsnips. According to the CD jacket, it's Dan Povenmire. I tried singing with a gravelly voice like that once. I can't do it for more than 40 or 50 seconds before I start gagging. I wonder how many times Dan had to stop and gag while recording these two masterpieces.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz, also voiced by Povenmire, got his "My Goody Two-Shoes Brother" on the CD, with all of its very carefully fashioned lyrics.

The normally taciturn Ferb gets his moment in the spotlight with "Backyard Beach" and "Phinedroids and Ferbots."

Other special favorites of mine include the clever "My Undead Mummy," the Abba tribute "Disco Miniature Golfing Queen," and the Love Händel suite, including the Emmy-nominated "I Ain't Got Rhythm."

I tip my hat to, wave my Bic lighter in the air for, and applaud in the general direction of:

• the real voices of Love Händel (including Steve Zahn, one of my favorite actors)
• the P&F actors who lend not just their acting talents, but also their singing voices, to their characters
• the composers and lyricists who created these little gems
• Dan and Swampy, of course
• everybody else who sang and played on the series and the CD

Props to all of you.

(I bought the CD only a couple of days after it was released. It wasn't for me, though: I gave the CD to our son for his 18th birthday. I'm hoping to get one of my own next week, for my birthday.)

All Hail Phineas and Ferb

If you've watched any of the Disney Channel on cable or satellite TV, then you're familiar with the half-hour cartoon, Phineas and Ferb. Today, I salute Phineas and Ferb, the cartoon.



The story line of the show is always the same: it's summer vacation, and two stepbrothers are trying to decide what they're going to do that day. (Okay, that's eerily like Pinky and the Brain, but we're not going to go there.) They always settle on a project that is completely off the wall: an elevator to the moon; a flying car; a real beach in their backyard. And then they go ahead and do it.

At the end of the half-hour (and the end of the cartoon day), they always manage to get everything back to normal, mere seconds before their sister can tattle on them to their mother.

Although it's irrelevant to the point of this blog entry, I have to give a nod to their pet platypus. Every episode features a subplot involving Perry, their pet platypus, who disappears into his underground hideout, assumes his Secret Agent P identity, and goes off to do battle with his arch-enemy, the evil Dr. Doofenschmirtz. The Agent P vs. Doofenschmirtz battle usually meshes with Phineas and Ferb's project towards the end of the show, thwarting both Dr. Doofenschmirtz's evil plot and their sister's attempt to bust them.

The story line is augmented by some of the most imaginative studio music since the glory days of Fame and Miami Vice. I would buy a Phineas and Ferb soundtrack album, if such a thing existed.

The greatest thing about the show, though, is what it teaches its young viewers. The creators of P&F may not have done this intentionally, but it's there nevertheless.

Remember the second half of that famous George Bernard Shaw (swiped by RFK) quote? "I dream things that never were and say why not." Today's world seems aimed at squashing "why not" dreams, at squelching creativity and innovation. To make matters worse, this same world portrays the careers and the personal attributes of successful scientists and engineers as uncool or worthless.

(Go on, admit it: it's true. Even the hit shows that could be fostering these values, such as House and NCIS, attach way more value and coolness to physical appearance, a sharp wit, an acid tongue, and fighting and shooting ability, than they do to the more cerebral attributes.)

P&F turns that around. Every episode shows the boys having fun with the skills and character traits that make scientists and engineers really successful: creative thinking, innovation, planning, project management, systems engineering, design, problem-solving, leadership, determination, and self-confidence.

Repeatedly, Phineas takes delivery of some crucial material for their project, such as a truckload of sand for their beach, and the delivery person says, "Aren't you kind of young to be doing this?" Without missing a beat, Phineas replies, "Why, yes. Yes, I am." Then he smiles confidently and keeps going.

Everything the boys tackle, they tackle with enthusiasm. Especially in today's business climate, with businesses on the ropes and employees afraid of losing their jobs, you don't see a lot of enthusiasm in the workplace. Phineas and Ferb find fun in everything they do, and the work is always its own reward. To the (adult) members of today's workforce, sitting down and watching 30 minutes of this kind of enthusiasm is healing and refreshing.

They also display an interesting character trait that the world could use more of: honesty. No, it's more than that. It's a complete lack of guile. The missuz and I were talking about this last night. Their sister is never successful at busting them -- their parents never get to see their sons' grand creations. But it doesn't mean the boys are sneaky. They don't try to hide anything. In one episode, Candace tells her parents that Phineas and Ferb have built an elevator to the moon. Mom and Dad don't believe her, so Phineas says, "But it's true!" and he and Ferb display an American flag and some moon rocks to support Candace's story.

Another admirable trait of the boys is their complete unflappability. (I don't even know if that's a word.) Nothing fazes them. If their inventions fail or their plans go awry, either they go to Plan B, or they successfully wing it, or they shrug their shoulders and say, "Well, that was fun while it lasted."

It seems to be a modern tendency to panic and brood over things that go wrong, or even to find someone to blame and someone to sue. Not so with Phineas and Ferb. After all, life to them is just one summer day after another, and as long as they can find something fun to do every day, life is good.