Thursday, September 22, 2011

Dear Congressman: You did it again! Good grief, how stupid ARE you?

To all members of the Congress of the United States:

On Wednesday, September 21, the House of Representatives voted that all 435 of its members are idiots.  We're waiting to see if the Senate comes up with something similar.

Once again, a serious deadline looms:  the federal government will be out of money - operating funds, that is - on October 1, little more than a week from now.  Another emergency budget bill was presented for a vote in the House of Representatives on Wednesday.  Forty-eight Tea Party Republicans voted against the bill because it didn't cut taxes.  (That's not what it was intended to do!  Idiots!)  Almost all Democrats voted against the bill because it didn't spend enough money.  (Haven't you learned?  That's the last thing we need to be doing right now: spending more money.  How do you think we got into this problem in the first place?  Idiots!)

And you, the empty-headed, drooling, mouth-breathing, slope-headed, beetle-browed, lawyers and millionaires, whom We The People naively elected to "represent" us in the Congress of the United States, you are back to Business as Usual.

Party politics.  Brinksmanship.  Obstructionism. Ultimatums.  Tantrums.  Narrowmindedness.  Selling of favors.  Catering to special interests.  Everything except the cooperation and compromise that we expect of you.  Didn't you MORONS learn ANYTHING from the debt-ceiling debacle?

It was a simple thing!  All you had to do was pass a bill!  You couldn't even do that!

Once again, you are going to wait until just before midnight on September 30 to do something that you are perfectly capable of doing right now, because you're too stubborn, too immature, and too fond of power.

Listen to me carefully.  I want you to remember these words.  The American people have lost all confidence in their Senators and their Representatives.  (This time, it's the Representatives' fault.  Senators, I'm sure your turn is coming.)  This November, and in the next five Novembers, We The People are going to show you what you can do with that power which you think you possess.  We are going to kick all of you out of Washington, D.C. and send you back home, where you won't cause any more trouble.  We will replace you with people who know what it's like to try to survive and keep a family together in these times, who know how to get something done.

You obviously don't know, and you apparently don't care.  And for that reason alone, you are unworthy to hold office.  You're all fired.

UPDATE, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23:  The House of Representatives stayed up past midnight, and finally got a version of the bill passed.  The vote went right down party lines, revealing that, even though they were able to pass the bill, all 435 members of the House of Representatives are still idiots.  Stupid.  Morons.  Mental disasters.  Buck-toothed jackasses, braying and kicking and blocking the trail.

The bill does contain a compromise:  $1 billion of a requested $3.6 billion spending increase for disaster aid now, and another $2.6 billion in fiscal year 2012, which starts October 1.  See, that wasn't so hard, was it?  And they even threw in some spending cuts to appease the Tea Partiers.

Today, the bill goes to the Senate, where the Senate is expected to vote to reject it.  As in the House, the vote will go right down party lines.  Like I said at the beginning of this post, today the United States Senate is going to vote that all 100 of its members are flaming idiots, just like their counterparts down the hall.  Here's why.  An unnamed aide to a Democratic Senator gives this hypocritical, two-faced, self-serving comment in a CNN article:
On Thursday night, senior Senate Democratic leadership aide said the party's caucus is united against Republican-tailored versions of the measure.  "We are looking for a real attempt to compromise, not just an attempt to appease their own people," the aide said.
Nobody in the Senate - on either side of the aisle - is interested in compromise, as they have made clear.  For either party to suggest that they are is an insult to the intelligence of the American people.  This is a do-nothing Congress.  All they can do is talk and talk, and they do way too much of that.  We The People want deeds, not words.

Once again, to all members of the Congress of the United States:  Today, the Senate will vote on whether or not you are idiots.  And the money's riding on a "yes" vote.

With the screeching sound of the Eurozone crashing and burning in the background, the whole world is watching you, the Congress of the United States.  Nobody is watching Europe.  They're all focused on Washington, and wondering whether a nation so gridlocked, and so mismanaged, can long endure.

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