Friday, September 6, 2024

Cancer Strikes Again - not Me, but my Family

 I hate cancer.

Cancer is a vicious, ugly beast. It is mean. It is cruel. It is heartless.

I posted previously about my own experiences with cancer, and how I got to beat it twice, without going through the hard stuff.

Cancer didn't like that. So it attacked my loved ones instead.

Around December of last year, my daughter-in-law was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive breast cancer. We were worried that we would lose her. She underwent a double mastectomy, and then reconstructive surgery, and will take an estrogen blocker for the rest of her life (the doctor called it "instant menopause") to starve and kill any future tumors. She appears to be recovering and in good health. I cannot put into words how grateful we are for that.

I'm not the kind of father-in-law to call her up and say, "Hi, Jen! How are your boobs doing?" So I've been getting updates from my wife, my son, and what little bits my daughter-in-law passes along in casual conversation. However, I did find a great T-shirt online. I passed the idea to my sweet wife, who laughed about it with my daughter-in-law. It says "Of course they're fake! My real ones tried to kill me."

In August of this year, my youngest daughter was diagnosed with cancer in one lung. After a PET scan, doctors told her it had spread to her spine. That makes it Stage IV. The doctors are talking about starting with immunotherapy and radiation therapy. They don't expect to make it go away, only to stop it for now. That means it will eventually come back and kill her.

The tumors in her chest cause an accumulation of excess fluids in the cavity around her left lung. This causes her shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and severe discomfort -- maybe even pain. The tumors in her spine cause back pain, pain in other places because spine and nerves, you know, and numbness in one arm. It hurts that we will one day lose her, but it hurts even more to see such a gentle soul in such pain.

Neither of these women had any risk factors. My daughter-in-law is only (guessing; I'll correct it later) 44 years old. My daughter is only 37. 

In The Lord of the Rings, Theoden, king of Rohan, loses his son in battle. Theoden says, "No parent should have to bury their child." One day, that will be me.

I have many more thoughts about this, which I want to put down in this blog. However, it will take me a while to put them into words. Check back here for edits and updates.


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